


faded.

by renrenee



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/F, grade school friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:40:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28477797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renrenee/pseuds/renrenee
Summary: Yubin has stuck around with no assurance for so long to still keep this and everything going. Maybe life really is about learning to let go of someone who you don’t even know if they want to keep you in their life or not.
Relationships: Kim Yoohyeon/Lee Yubin | Dami
Comments: 12
Kudos: 28





	faded.

Yubin could hardly remember how she and Yoohyeon became close. Sure, their class from 1st to 6th grade had the relationship of like a family - even their parents have their own group chat, but still they belong to different groups of friends. 

One of the few things she remembers is how she used to be so intimidated by Yoohyeon. It's funny, she knows. Yoohyeon was kind of famous. She dances well and the whole school knows her for it. Yoohyeon and her group of friends are a bunch of pretty girls too. But that was not just what used to intimidate Yubin. They had fights just because Yoohyeon loves teasing her close friends (Yubin was lowkey glad she was considered as one). It sounded petty but she couldn't help it when Yoohyeon always chooses her as the victim of those scary videos on her phone. 

_"Stop!"_

_"Why?? Look it's funny!"_

_"It's not! That thing isn't funny!"_

_"Hey, don't cry. I was just teasing you."_

_"I told you to stop. It's scary!"_

_"Okay. You were just so cute. I won't do it again. I'm sorry Yubinnie."_

_"Leave me alone."_

_"Hey…"_

_"If you'll just keep on scaring me, then find another friend!"_

_"I don't want to find another friend. I promise I won't do it again. I'm sorry Yubinnie. Forgive me, hmm?"_

She tried so hard to rack her brain of how and why but all she could remember is suddenly, they were each other's best best friend (because as kids they find almost everyone their best friend). Suddenly, they were inseparable. Suddenly, it's not just Yubin, or just Yoohyeon… it's Yubin and Yoohyeon.

_"Oh no! I'm so sorry Yubin!" Yoohyeon panics as the drink she spilled on their table slowly drips to Yubin's costume._

_They were attending a special Christmas party for the few students who volunteered to teach kids younger than them._

_"It's okay. It was an accident." Yubin smiles and just continues to wipe her skirt with some tissue._

_"What should I do? Your costume is ruined now."_

_"It's okay, Yoohyeon-ah. It's just on the hem of my--"_

_But Yoohyeon's already on her feet, trying to wipe her tears as she runs to the comfort room. Yubin follows but she doesn't run. She wants to let Yoohyeon calm down a bit before approaching her again._

_"You okay now?"_

_Yoohyeon lifts her head and sees Yubin in the mirror. Yubin was smiling, obviously unbothered by the stain and it made Yoohyeon tear up again._

_"Hey, I told you it's fine."_

_And when Yoohyeon keeps sniffing, her head down, Yubin steps closer and quietly places the necklace she bought just for Yoohyeon._

_"What's this?"_

_Yubin locks the necklace and smiles, before revealing the one she has around her neck, both simple but special silver rings._

_"It's a friendship ring. Can also be a necklace, see? I saved up since I want to give you something before we graduate."_

_"Yubin…"_

_"Merry Christmas, Yoohyeonnie. Please don't cry anymore."_

-

_Mar 7, 2015_

_Sat 6:15 am_

**_Yoohyeon_ **

_Happy birthday Yubin! I’ll be always here for you_

_just like how you are to me. You know when you talked_

_to that girl who played a prank on me because I got hurt!_

_I’ll do that too for you! You’re still my best best friend!_

_Miss you and love you! See you soon, please <3” _

**_Yubin_ **

_Thank you, Yoohyeon._

_Love you, always._

***

Yubin is nervous, though. Well, she is always nervous when it comes to meeting people (yes, even her friends). She has to meet with her old classmates, just a simple reunion, but she's extra nervous today because she's sure Yoohyeon will be there. (Yoohyeon who rarely responds to their messages and sometimes says she’s too busy to come). All of them do not meet often, usually just a few times a year. And everytime it happens, whenever she’s sure a specific someone will be there, the same thoughts and memories play in Yubin's mind, making her both excited and nervous. (Explains why she’s recalling all of these right now).

Yubin sadly smiles at how the word ‘best friend’ automatically connects to Yoohyeon. Calling someone you don't even talk to anymore as your best friend sounds skeptical to people, but to Yubin, it never changed. No matter how long they do not talk or see each other, Yoohyeon is someone very very special to her. Someone who could easily dive into Yubin's deepest self (if she asks to) and Yubin won't ever be afraid of getting judged because it's Yoohyeon. She knows Yoohyeon never will.

And because of that, Yubin feels sorry for herself for still not being able to let go of someone she doesn't know if they still care for her. Yoohyeon is special to her but she doesn't know if she is still special to Yoohyeon.

As they grow up, they all try to keep in touch, sometimes trying to meet whenever one celebrates their birthday. But you know, friends you meet in highschool are different. Highschool sometimes makes you miss your old friends because they’ve known you since you were little… or sometimes it makes you realize that you’ve found people you know you wanna keep until your hairs turn gray. To Yoohyeon, it’s the latter. She loves her old friends, but maybe she found better.

Yubin kicks non-existent pebbles on the ground, occasionally checking her phone for new notifications and messages. She nervously shifts her weight from one foot to another and maybe even sighed for the umpteenth time. This reunion’s just making her restless, not sure if it’s because she’s excited or she wanna go home instead. 

"You ready?"

Yubin wakes up from her trance , lifting her head from her phone. She sees Gahyeon walking towards her, waving her hand with a bright smile. For a moment, the girl’s smile calmed her down. 

"You're almost late."

"'Almost'. I'll never let myself be." Gahyeon playfully flips her hair and Yubin can only shake her head.

"Let's go?" 

Gahyeon nods and when they started walking, Yubin didn't notice herself letting out a deep sigh.

"Nervous huh?"

"Same old, same old."

"Don't worry. it's just Yoohyeon."

"Yeah, it's _just_ Yoohyeon."

When they arrived, Yubin could feel her knees almost shaking. Most of their friends were seated on the first row recliner sofa, loudly talking about what she assumed: gossip. She could recognize Yoohyeon's back even from afar and she's sure she'll still recognize even no matter how many times the girl changes her hair color. Unconsciously, she grabs Gahyeon’s wrist which almost makes them halt their steps.

"Hey, easy."

"Sorry."

"Do you want to come and greet them?"

Yubin immediately shakes her head. It's not that she doesn't really want to. She's just bad at greetings and hugs and making the first move and all the 'Omg! I missed you', so she thinks she should just probably wait for them to notice that she's here and let them swarm in wherever she chooses to sit.

"Okay, fine. I'll go in front and greet them. And also tell them you're here."

"You're a lifesaver."

"Always." Gahyeon says, winking before making her way to the front.

Yubin sighs in relief when she spots Minji sitting on the second (last) row, talking to Seola, and she quickly makes a beeline before any of the other girls notice her awkwardly standing by the door. She greets them and easily joins the conversation since they all belong to the same strand of educatin. It was her, Minji, Gahyeon and Bora who went together for the same highschool (and just applied to the same colleges too) while Yoohyeon and Siyeon went together. 

"Thought you would be late." Minji says. They were supposed to come together but Yubin said she still has to pick Gahyeon up from the bus stop. 

"You know Gahyeon." That's only what Yubin says but the two girls already get it. "Is Siyeon here?" 

"Yep. She's been looking for you. I'm sure she'll be thrilled to see you." Minji answers.

"Is it really me… or you?"

Minji just shakes her head with a smile. Yubin lets the two girls talk as she tries to decide if she should just go to the front and greet the others, especially Siyeon. (Siyeon is one of the closest friends she had in grade school, calling each other 'twin' since they almost had the same outfit style and interests). But then she thinks they all look so engrossed to whatever topic they are talking about. 

She can greet Siyeon later… or right now. Before she could fish her phone out of her pocket, she sees Siyeon, Bora and Yoohyeon already making their way most probably to where she and Minji are seated. She glances in the front and sees Gahyeon seated, talking to their other friends. 

"Yubin! Minji!" 

It was Bora who greeted so loudly and excitedly. Sure, they see each other often at the campus but the smaller girl always acts like she hasn't seen them in ages. Siyeon only waves with a smile and Yubin almost stands up to greet her and sit together (most probably to be in their own world) when suddenly Yoohyeon takes the seat beside her. 

Great.

"Hey." Yoohyeon greets.

"Oh, hi."

They say nothing after, the taller girl immediately looking comfortable in her seat and her body almost leaning into Yubin's as she makes space for Siyeon. And that's when Yubin thought she had no choice but to just calm down and hope that Bora would do the job of not making the atmosphere awkward.

It felt different today. Yoohyeon is still the _only-touchy-when-she-likes-to_ friend. But she felt different today. Yubin thought she's finally physically feeling all the changes she noticed in the conversations they had through social media. Things were like Yubin still trying to keep things in touch, Yoohyeon being the same but feeling so distant, and it just goes again and again. It was painful; trying to think of what happened and where and when did it all started to change. Yubin felt stupid because she was never like that to anyone, her trying so hard to keep things the same, she would just rather let them leave. Anyone but Yoohyeon.

"You okay?" she ends up asking. 

"Oh? Mhmm. Just kinda sleepy. I slept late last night."

"Oh. But you always sleep late. You know, making those tiktok videos." she tries to joke.

Yoohyeon laughs. It wasn’t the same laugh they all tease her for. The loud contagious laugh, sometimes with high pitched squeals. Yubin frowns at the thought, but then Yoohyeon's body finally leans more comfortably to her. And when Yoohyeon keeps the position that way, Yubin places her hand on the girl's lap, deciding that she should not think about it that much. She then rejoins the conversation Bora and Siyeon are having and they stay like that - Yoohyeon occasionally leaning her head on Yubin's shoulder or trying to pinch Yubin's waist whenever she makes a joke to tease her.

For a moment, Yubin thought that maybe it’s all just in her head. In the end, no matter how confusing everything was to Yubin, she will still let Yoohyeon do whatever she wants.

"Oh, being all cuddly huh?" Bora teases.

"Hey, shut it." Yubin says, shushing her friend but the girl beside her only laughs and she prayed hard for Yoohyeon not to hear how loudly her heart was pounding.

She hates how Yoohyeon still has the same effect on her despite all the girlfriends and flings. She hates it that she still goes weak even if she doesn't even know where she stands. She hates it that no matter how frustrated she is, it is also what she wants.

"Chill, Yubs."

"Anyways, where's Gahyeon? We need to take a picture later, okay? Us six!!"

"Maybe busy trying to get updated with everybody. Look at her."

"I'm going to the comfort room. Siyeon? Wanna come?" 

What she said surprised everyone, even the girl beside her who took a few seconds to process before moving away and let Yubin move from her seat. Yubin usually would just quietly excuse herself, especially when everyone's busy sharing stories, and would just tell Yoohyeon she needs to go for a while.

"You fine?" Yoohyeon whispers.

"Don't want an interruption when the movie starts." She says, but not to Yoohyeon only but to everyone, before grabbing Siyeon's arm and them almost rushing to get out of the room.

"I see that someone still has feelings for someone."

Yubin playfully pushes her friend away, walking ahead to find the bathroom. She didn’t directly tell Siyeon what she felt but being her _twin_ , she’s sure Siyeon doesn’t even need her to speak to know it. 

"I tried, okay. I mean I tried to forget about it. You know all of the relationships I had. I don't even know why I still wait for her or look for her every time we have reunions. And we don't-"

They enter the small bathroom but instead of actually taking a pee, Yubin just stands in front of the mirror staring at herself. 

"You two don't even talk. You always just find each other. Sit side by side and never actually talk but everybody can feel the motherfucking sexual tension."

"Nice joke." Yubin sighs. turning the faucet on and trying to wash her hands which are not even that dirty.

"Okay maybe the sexual part is just for you and it's just tension for her side."

She kicks Siyeon's shin before finding some toilet paper. Yubin stays silent as Siyeon laughs, probably because she knows that her friend is right. It always looked like there's something going on with them but Yoohyeon never actually confirmed anything to her side. It was all just to tease Yubin. They all know the last person Yoohyeon used to like was one of their guy friends who was also their classmate (they looked cute together to the point that even their parents root for them). 

_"Don't you think it's funny how you two always fight when someones all over the other? And you two don't even like each other."_ That's how usually things are not until Yubin had to admit to them (but Yoohyeon) that she actually _had_ feelings.

“I mean… Just all those leaning and whispers… Like, dude. What exactly goes on here?”

“You ask me that when I myself don’t even know.”

“Ow, ouch.”

"I just hope I'll survive tonight."

"You will. As usual. You know how she is."

"That's the thing. I already know, but I never learn."

Maybe Yoohyeon’s way of keeping things the same is just different from Yubin’s. Maybe it’s the way she touches Yubin whenever they see each other. Maybe it’s how she chooses to sit beside her even if they barely talk. Maybe it’s how she let her friends do all the teasing to them. 

Maybe that’s just how it is. Yubin knows that’s always how things have been; getting all clingy when they see each other but when she tries to keep the connection after, Yoohyeon always looks like she never has time. Yubin just tries to let things pass, but today, it’s almost driving her crazy. Because she knew something, others don’t. Something that maybe sparked a little hope in her.

“Will you tell them?” Yubin whispers. 

Yoohyeon obviously was not paying attention to the movie. She kept on checking her phone, busily scrolling through her instagram, her head still leaning comfortably on Yubin’s shoulder. 

“About what?”

“Jane.” 

It was one of the few times Yoohyeon was a little more open to Yubin. She admitted having feelings for a girl from her campus - her first girlfriend. Yubin was even able to talk to her. Yubin was proud, of course. Jane was funny and very easy to talk to. They were cute and all. But Yoohyeon admitted that it wasn’t always that good. It was tiring for always trying to be patient for Jane whenever she stirs up a fight between them. Yoohyeon also then told Yubin that just a week ago before this reunion, they had broken up.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Come on. I know the teasing makes you uncomfortable.”

“No, it doesn't. It’s okay. They have always been like that. Though I’m kinda confused why they keep on teasing you. You seem to be really annoyed earlier.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Hmm…”

“Okay, it’s something. But let’s finish all of this first and I’ll tell you.”

“Promise?”

Yubin knows no matter how many times she promises something to Yoohyeon, it’s not really up to her if she keeps it. Yubin will always ALWAYS keep her promises but it's also always up to Yoohyeon to let her. She's honestly not so sure if they'll be able to talk after today or Yoohyeon will just start to _ghost_ everyone again. 

"I'll tell you. I promise."

But deep down, Yubin knows maybe it's time to let Yoohyeon know. What she honestly feels for her not-so-close best friend. Maybe after she does, it will all go away.

The movie ends and they all agree to watch one more after the food and drinks. Yubin agreed to the drinks even if she's not so good with them. She rarely drinks but right now maybe it will help her get the courage to get this all out of her.

"I have something to tell you all." Yoohyeon opens up.

She glances to Yubin whose gaze turns from confused to recognition. Yubin nods at her and before she could grab another drink, Yoohyeon's hand slips to her own, clutching it tightly.

"I had a girlfriend. Jane. But we broke up. Complicated." Yoohyeon glances at Siyeon because she's sure Siyeon already sensed it since they're all schoolmates.

"Oh? We thought you were-- You know…" Sua speaks.

"I thought so too. God I was so whipped for Wonpil?" They all glanced to the guy who was busy singing along with their other classmates. They all burst into chuckles as they notice all of their heads turning at the same time.

"Well, can't blame you. He's very good looking." 

Yoohyeon only chuckles and again leans back comfortably to the sofa, her head back on Yubin's shoulder.

"I just wanna let you all know. I think I'm gonna come out soon."

"We're so proud of you, Yoohyeonnie!" It is Minji who speaks and Yoohyeon smiles. The oldest really know how to make them feel so loved even with just her simple words.

"Well. Let's celebrate then! 6/6 confirmed gay!!" Sua squeals, making all of them laugh.

Yubin and Siyeon end up sitting together while Yoohyeon joins the other girls, probably answering whatever question they ask her about what happened.

"So… maybe it's not just tension to her after all."

"Please, Siyeon."

"You have a chance dude. I'm sure it's a greater one since you two know each other since I don't know… dancing little sweaty kids?"

"I don't know."

"But, oh, you want to."

"Yeah. But I _don't_ know. She just broke up with her. Maybe after a few months and she's still single then I'll go for it."

"Hmm. You have a point." 

Yubin was drinking more than usual and maybe Siyeon should start to worry but she knows Yubin is quick to sober up too. Yubin still has to take Gahyeon home who's already all over Arin dancing in the middle of the home theater.

"Anyways. Any progress with your Minji?"

"What do you mean progress? It's been ages. We don't have a thing anymore… You know since that science camp thingy she had."

"Oh sure. During Gahyeon's party, which was months ago, you were screaming through text of how she's still so attractive."

"Shut up."

"You can't hide anything from me, dude. You two should talk about it. You broke up over the phone, please."

"She won't even approach me anymore."

"She remembers my birthday just because you two used to always pair up to surprise me."

Siyeon frowns, obviously missing all the memories. Yubin even had to act messenger between the two of them, when the breaking up thing happened.

"Go get her… and maybe I'll get mine." Yubin says.

"Alright, fine. But hey, go easy. You still have to take your girls home." Siyeon reminds. Taking them home means accompanying Gahyeon to the bus and walking Minji to her house since they live in the same neighborhood.

"I'm not gonna get that drunk don't worry. I don't wanna get kicked out of my home."

But of course things had to go wrong at some point.

"Suyeon?... Yubin?" It was Yoohyeon's voice.

The plans changed when they noticed that they all just wanna drink and have fun rather than watching another lame romance movie. Most of them are already getting tipsy.

She sees Yoohyeon clutching Siyeon's arm and Yubin immediately makes a distance between her and Suyeon. The girl still dares to leave another peck before giggling and letting her body lean forward and hug Yubin.

"I'll take her back inside. Yoohyeon needs to go home. Minii said she'll go with Gahyeon instead."

"But that is the opposite her way."

"Opposite your way too. I'll come with them, don’t worry."

Yubin just nods, helping Siyeon with Suyeon. She glances at Yoohyeon who was biting her lip, her expression unreadable.

"You ready?" Yubin asks and Yoohyeon only nods.

Yubin gathers her stuff first before going back to where Yoohyeon is. They walk in silence, their bodies unusually a little far between each other.

“Funny.” Yoohyeon mutters.

“What is?”

“Suyeon was the one who playfully stole your first kiss. Now you were having the legitimate one and it's with her again. And I'm the one who witnessed them both.”

“Yoohyeon-"

Yubin remembers what happened on that first kiss thingy. How can she forget when Yoohyeon literally walked out of the classroom, ended up crying and ignored everyone after.

_“You’re my best friend!” Yoohyeon frustratedly says._

_“I know I am. It's not even something serious. I don’t get why you are so mad.”_

_“I don’t know. I just don’t like it. You even seem so unbothered. It’s annoying.”_

_“_ _Hey, you know it was just a joke. Suyeon was just playing around."_

_"Lucy won't let her so she kissed you instead?"_

_"Yoohyeon-"_

_“I don’t know Yubin. My head hurts. You should go back. I’ll find Nurse Jung first.”_

“My head hurts. Let’s just go home, please.”

Yubin sighs as Yoohyeon walks ahead. Yoohyeon acting like this only adds up to the confusion and frustration Yubin has. She then remembers what she promised and she doesn't know if it's the right time but she also isn't sure if she'll ever have the courage again.

"Wanna drink some coffee first?"

Yoohyeon stops and glances at Yubin who only smiles. She sighs and nods, extending her arm to hook around Yubin's.

"I need to tell you something too, right?"

"You're telling me tonight?"

"Mhmm. Not sure if we'll ever get to talk like this again, you know."

Yoohyeon frowns but Yubin returns it with another smile. They found a convenience store and Yubin buys two canned iced coffee for them to take. At first, they drink in silence, Yoohyeon obviously just waiting for Yubin to speak.

"You know… The thing is… The reason why they kept on teasing… is because I used to like you."

Yoohyeon stops sipping her drink and stares at Yubin. Suddenly, Yubin isn't sure if she's done the right thing, but Yoohyeon suddenly smiles, followed by a soft chuckle.

"Like uhm, I just realized that you were the first girl I had a crush on." Yubin adds.

"I knew it. I was almost confused because you all kept on laughing and I was clueless… but I had a hunch."

"You what?"

"I'm not dumb, Yubin."

"So you're fine with it?"

"I am. Thank you for telling me. You're still my _friend_."

Yubin just nods and then again, there's silence. She thinks of what she just told Yoohyeon. It wasn't exactly a lie but Yubin knows the feelings never went away.

Is this her chance? Should she tell Yoohyeon the truth? But isn't it so obvious already? Is it the right time? She just broke up with someone. Well, she's only gonna tell her. Yoohyeon doesn't need to do or say anything. Maybe this time she could try to be more honest. 

There's just this little hope that maybe telling her would change things. Change the way Yoohyeon treats her. Because she hates to admit it but she misses Yoohyeon. And things might not go her way but it isn't entirely impossible.

Maybe Yoohyeon likes her too. Or if she doesn't, she could make her if she let her.

But Yubin didn't. 

"It's getting late. Are you finished with your coffee?" she asks.

"Oh, yeah. Let's go?"

"Mhmm. We can't get you scolded." Yubin jokes.

And when they arrive, they say nothing. They both just waved goodbye and when Yubin started to walk, she did not dare to look back. She just hates goodbyes especially when you're not sure if it would be the _last_ time you two get to be this close.

Yubin texted her mom that she's almost home. She also sees Siyeon's message, asking how things went. She sighs thinking that she let another chance slip away. But if it's really for her, then all will still end up falling to place, right?

"Coward." she mutters.

***

And maybe she did the right thing. Maybe she just saved herself from further heartaches. Just maybe, because despite Yoohyeon feeling so far, of course, she still wants her. Her heart still hopes for Yoohyeon.

_May 12, 2018_

_Sat 2:07 pm_

**_Yubin_ **

hey u busy?

**_Yoohyeon_ **

not really

just finished eating brunch

**_Yubin_ **

wanna go out? we're going to lotte world

bora's insisting that i ask u

meaning… you should come hehe

**_Yoohyeon_ **

ehh

too lazy, i haven't even bathed yet

**_Yubin_ **

cmonnn

we'll pick u up

**_Yoohyeon_ **

sdkfjjd im too lazyyy

**_Yubin_ **

:((

okay,, maybe next time

**_Yoohyeon_ **

mhmm

enjoy and take care :)

-

_Sept 27, 2018_

_Thu 7:23 pm_

**_Yubin_ **

we're celebrating gahyeon's birthday!!

u should come alright??

**_Yoohyeon_ **

suree

where tho

**_Yubin_ **

hmm

yours?

it's where we used to celebrate 

siyeon and i are up for the food

minji and bora says they're for the drinks

**_Yoohyeon_ **

mine??

uhmm

i'll ask mom, okay?

**_Yubin_ **

sureee

_Sept 28, 2018_

_Fri 11:35 am_

**_Yoohyeon_ **

hey omg sorry we can't go to my place,, 

my relatives are arriving to stay for a while ://

**_Yubin_ **

oh that's finee

does that mean u can’t come too?

**_Yoohyeon_ **

sorry yubin, 

maybe next time :/

**_Yubin_ **

sure yooh :)

i'll tell them, don't worry.

-

_Jan 4, 2019_

_Fri 6:37 pm_

**_Yoohyeon_ **

hey,

my birthday's coming

u should come okay??

my house, 7pm!!

**_Yubin_ **

of course, yooh

who's coming though

**_Yoohyeon_ **

bora, siyeon, and minji!

gahyeon said she cant :((

some of my highschool friends will be there too

**_Yubin_ **

got it

see you birthday girl <33

***

Yubin stares at Yoohyeon from afar. Smiling brightly, eyes shining, her laugh sounded very happy. It was beautiful but also painful. That it’s not like that to her friends (and to Yubin) anymore. Her four friends are in silence, busy finishing their food. Yoohyeon told them that she’ll be back later after she greets her friends.

“He’s here!” someone from Yoohyeon’s highschool friends squeals.

This makes the group burst into giggles. They were all giving Yoohyeon this certain look, making her turn red.

A guy enters the house, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He’s not that very good looking, Yubin thought, but he made her feel so small… because Yoohyeon’s eyes are shining, full of love. Something Yubin used to see when they were still young, when Yoohyeon watches and listens to Yubin sing her songs from her favorite movie, Frozen, as if she has the most perfect voice. 

“Is that her boyfriend?” Siyeon whispers.

Yubin keeps her mouth shut, her eyes lingering at them. Yoohyeon is blushing so hard, passing the bouquet to her mom, before hugging the guy who just arrived. They see Yoohyeon’s mom urging them to take a picture, her friends all cheering so hard.

Yubin watches everything. How the guy politely asks Yoohyeon to dance. Something she never had the courage to do. Yoohyeon staring right into his eyes as they dance to her old favorite song, You Belong With Me. A song they always used to jam on whenever they stayed at her house after classes. Yubin watches as Yoohyeon gives the guy a kiss on his cheek. And she badly wants to look away. Just go home and lie on her bed. But she stays, sitting still. 

She then remembers her message for Yoohyeon earlier.

_“Happy birthday, Yoohyeon. I am glad to still have you. You know it’s hard to find someone who will stick around. Stay the same, the Yoohyeon who loves us genuinely, who knows us deeply and will never judge. But also, allow yourself to continue to grow. Change isn’t always bad. Know that I am proud of you and that I am always here for you. Always. Enjoy the night.”_

Always, she said. And she meant it. Despite the changes. Despite the pain. 

_Jan 7, 2019_

_Mon 11:38 pm_

**_Yubin_ **

Happy birthday and Good night, Yooh :)

**_Yoohyeon_ **

sorry we didn’t get to talk,, and thank you!

**_Yubin_ **

it’s fine :)) you were having funnn

**_Yoohyeon_ **

<3

  
  


Days, weeks, months passed and nothing from Yoohyeon. Yubin stopped trying, hoping that maybe Yoohyeon will initiate this time. But nothing. And Yubin has now come to accept it. That it was Yubin _and_ Yoohyeon, but now it's back to being just Yubin. 

Maybe it’s her fault for not being too honest or maybe she just looked too deeply into small things. 

Maybe it’s time to _let go_ . Yubin has stuck around with no assurance for so long to still keep this (she doesn’t even know what _this_ is) and everything going. Maybe life really is about learning to let go of someone who you don’t even know if they want to keep you in their life or not. To open her eyes and see the reality. Maybe it’s what Yubin needs to learn and Yoohyeon will not be an exception.

***

“I have a surprise for you.”

“If that requires drinking and going to parties, 

then I’m sorry Minji. 

I’m just gonna stay here and sleep.”

“It’s not that! It requires going out though.”  
  


“Minji.”

“I got you a reservation for a music camp!”

“A what? Music camp?!”

“Hmm!”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes! It was a gift for me. 

But I am not available that week. 

I immediately thought of you. 

I knew you miss coming to those.”

“Minji… it’s for you… I--”

“Don’t worry about it, okay? 

Plus I need to get your ass out of your dorm. 

Come on, get some sunshine. 

Maybe you’ll feel better, Yubin.”

“Thank you, Minji. You’re the best.”

“Is that Yubin? Yubin! Hello!”

“Siyeon?”

“Hey there bud!”

“You two are together? Like right now?”

“Uhm…”

  
“Yeah. Siyeon and I are going on a date later.”

  
“Minji! I haven’t told her yet!”

“Hopeless gays.”

“Hey!”

“I’m happy for you two. 

Enjoy, okay? And again, 

thank you for this Minji.”

“Enjoy it too, please?”

“I will. I promise.”

***

Yubin arrives early to her cabin. A few girls have taken the beds in the middle and the end of the room and only the big one near the door is available. She places her luggages beside the bed and lazily slumps her body on the back, her foot on the headboard as she stares mindlessly on the closed door. The bed is too big and she’s sure she’ll have to share it with at least one other girl.

The door suddenly swings open, the sunshine dazzles her and she has to blink a few times first before seeing another girl struggling to pull her luggage. Yubin sits up, rubs her eyes and blinks again, to make sure she’s not seeing things. The girl looks up, mirroring her shocked expression, before the both of them broke into grins and laughter.

“Cold Princess Dongie?”

“Yes it’s me, Annoying Prince Dami. What are you doing? Stand up and help me!”

-

Yubin lets out a relieved sigh as her back touches the bed, obviously tired from all the activities they have done for the day. Handong sits beside her, still drying her hair. She lets out a soft chuckle as Yubin looks like she’s about to fall asleep. Handong then lies down beside her, closing her eyes too.

“Damdam?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you remember? We used to climb the church’s backyard’s fences because we always get locked out whenever we try to run and play tag.”

Yubin opens her eyes and looks at Handong who’s staring at the ceiling, smiling. 

“Oh, that. And we have to get back inside before our parents come and pick us up because we’ll get scolded if they catch us outside.”

“It’s funny because I can’t ever remember us playing with the dolls the church gifted us. It was always the Hot Wheels collection you have that you bring every Sunday.” Handong points out, which makes Yubin laugh.

“I was surprised you don’t like the Barbies.”

“You know what I love. I even like climbing up trees more than playing house.”

“We used to collect the cherries and make them into iced candies!”

“I missed our little food experiments. I missed all of those. So much.” Handong smiles, but sighs after.

Yubin stays silent. The last time they saw each other was twelve years ago. When Yubin and her used to stay in the same neighborhood and attend the same church. Until Yubin moves and a few years later, Handong moves too. She never expected to see Handong in this music camp, and she can’t deny that the days they spent together were nothing but comforting and happy. Like the days are made to make her feel herself again. For a moment, Yubin’s mind was able to rest from all the stress and overthinking she had for the past few months.

“We’ll see each other again, right?”

Yubin honestly does not know. They live in different cities and it’s hard to see each other regularly. Though she definitely wants to see Handong again. She’ll do anything and would even prepare for it.

“We have to! Promise to keep in touch too!” Handong adds, sitting up, her eyes looks at Yubin's. Yubin sits too, smiling as she sees how Handong's eyes look like they're sparkling.

And her heart almost aches thinking at how no one has ever looked that excited to spend time with her, for a long time. No one's eyes ever shined that bright with the hope of seeing each other again. And it comforted Yubin, wrapping her heart with nothing but a comforting warmth.

“Okay, promise.”

“And let’s climb trees again!”

“We’ll climb trees again.” Yubin repeats, surprised and amused by how Handong looks very excited. 

“And you’ll make me iced candies!”

Handong who always has the best shiny colorful dresses and shoes for church, her hair always tied into beautiful braids. The same Handong who loves climbing trees and is in love with Hot Wheels more than Barbie dolls. Handong who looks so happy to see her again, who remembers and misses her despite not seeing her for years almost without contact.

“Cute.” Yubin chuckles.

“Me? I know I am.”

“Yeah, you’re cute. Now that I have promised, maybe we can sleep first?”

“Right. It’s late, geez.”

The two of them lie down, both hugging their own plushies. Yubin almost drifts to sleep when she hears Handong speak again.

“I missed you, Damdam. You don’t know how happy I am right now. Good night.”

Yubin lets sleep take over, a smile on her face. Tonight, she sleeps happy. Tonight, her heart and mind is calm. And she hopes it will be not just tonight but for a long time.

  
  
  
«●»

**Author's Note:**

> You can send your feedbacks to my cc: [ @renrenee ](https://curiouscat.me/renrenee/)  
> Link to my twitter: [ @jiuwuyoo ](https://twitter.com/jiuwuyoo) !


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